Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
