i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
