I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
