Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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