Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need to calm my uterus...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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