He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
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There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
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I hugged the bouncer as we left.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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