oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Of course I have a pirate flag
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
