I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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