They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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