I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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