At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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