rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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