Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
