what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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