She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
did you just send me my own nude
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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