Well apparently he's into motor boating.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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