? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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