i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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