Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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