What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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