Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize
