My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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