She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
why does every cop we meet know your name?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
