I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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