I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
