We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
