He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
