Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
