She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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