Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize