If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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