sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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