my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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