Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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