Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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