he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
