I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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