I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
