yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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