I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
