u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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