I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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