Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
