I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
