i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
