Dual....:-)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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