I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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