i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
