Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
