hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
