hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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