You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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