Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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