Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize