thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
