is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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