Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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