found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
