While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize