i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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