Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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