why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
