is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
