He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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