so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
