Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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