The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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